An internet document of the delicious food victories that myself and my roommate experience on a daily basis.
MOTHER FUCKING CARNITAS
This was maybe the most boss food that we have made thus far. Here’s what you’re looking at:
Provolone taco shells. I threw mine in the oven at 400 for about 7 minutes. Just watch them until they get brown and crispy looking. When they’re done, take them out of the oven and drape the parchment paper over a broom handle. Make sure to put some paper towel underneath, unless you like cheese grease all over your floors.
Avocado. Under that meat, there’s a generous wedge of avocado. Don’t fucking skimp, avocado is good for you and hella* tasty.
THE MAIN ATTRACTION: CARNITAS!
Follow this recipe to the letter. It’s almost too easy. You can see the tray after it’s been in the oven up there. Garnish with some chopped red onion, cilantro, and lime wedges. If you did everything right, that’s a solid two meals of tacos for two people.
*The author used to live in California. It is okay for him to say ‘hella’
Buffalo chicken strips over boston lettuce and arugula salad, with blue cheese dressing.
People have been asking for recipes, so here it goes:
Ingredients:
1lb chicken tenderloins
1 bottle Frank’s Red Hot
3 tbsp. butter
Enough oil to cover a fry in. Eyeball it. (I use peanut oil)
Fry the chicken in hot oil until golden brown and crispy. Melt the butter and add the bottle of Frank’s. Toss the chicken in the sauce. Serve with veggies. BAM.
Avocado ice cream! I substituted heavy cream for half of the almond milk (I ran out), doubled the amount of avocado, added .5 tbsp. cinnamon, and used 2x the xanthan gum, as I didn’t have guar gum.
Pictured: the author making love to the ice cream with his mouth.
Not pictured: my douche roommate who fell asleep too early to reap this bounty.
.5lb burgers, stuffed with chipotle cheddar, seasoned with chili powder and cumin, topped with chipotle cheddar and wrapped in thick-cut bacon; served with Boston lettuce salad.
Barbacoa on top of arugula with sour cream.
Author’s note: this is one of the most delicious things I have made.
Low-carb coconut shrimp with home-made tartar sauce (mayo and dill relish) and a mustard/horseradish/scotch bonnet sauce.
Marinated chicken skewers with Boston lettuce and broccoli salad and grilled poblano peppers stuffed with boursin cheese.
